Cell Phone Addiction Blues

“Has it really come to this? I can’t even take a leak without looking at my phone?” I asked myself earlier. I didn’t like the answer – “evidently so.”

I don’t know why this epiphany about my smartphone addiction (I’m a “refresher” – GIVE ME MORE FRESH INTERNET! MORE!) in this particular way on this particular day. I’ll blame the nearly full moon the day after New Year’s. But that’s how it happened. And turns out, with each pointless refresh, a tiny part of me dies inside. Because it’s never actually that interesting. In fact, odds are pretty good it’s some kind of marketing materials. Drowning in marketing for professional reasons, now that’s dedication.

I know I’m not alone. I know people that practically sleep with their phones as if they’re comfort teddy bears. In fact, there is no cell phone etiquette for the most part because everyone’s an addict. Everyone “gets it.” As a result, society collectively doesn’t even try (for the most part – sweeping generalizations for dramatic effect are just that). #firstworldproblems and all that, right? Well, it is still a problem. People driving like they’re drunk because they’re texting or watching lolcats, people walking into practically everything, etc, etc. And I’m not pointing this out from a position of superiority – I’m just as guilty, just as much a part of the problem rather part of the solution.

The only solution I can think of is an unlock counter. I figure at some point I’d reach a number that made me go “Seriously? What the hell, man?” I like to think it would be well under 100. But don’t expect the cell phone makers to start putting those into the OS. An addicted customer base is a loyal customer base, after all, and the best way to keep them loyal is to keep them addicted. If we weren’t all hopelessly strung out on bytes, we’d be less likely to stand in line for the new iPhone or give AT&T an extra $100 to get the next Galaxy 6 months early (note: I don’t know of this actually happening with a Samsung – I think the madness is confined to the House That Jobs Built).

We’d probably also all be just a little bit more productive if we conquered this ADD, but I have no idea how. Maybe there’s an app for that. Let me go check my phone…


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